Calvin Fisher sets out to learn what Volvo drivers know that he doesn’t. He hands back the ES90 wearing a faintly serene expression.
Stoic. Elegant. Smart. Volvo is an interesting brand with an enviable status in the industry. You’ll be hard-pressed to find people who dislike them, and those who drive them have that ‘what do they know that I don’t?’ air about them. Cool. Whatever, I get it. They’re Scandi cool, they’ve mostly been at the forefront of technology and safety, and they’re the good guy, as of late, a collaborator with the Chinese car industry too. Which brings us to the latest car to land on my drive, the ES90. It’s all of the above, wrapped up in a striking box-shaped package.
A box with its corners filed off, mind. My initial impression on seeing it in the oh so cool metal was, hmm. I’ve felt this before. It reminded me of my first encounter with the Audi e-tron GT, a pricier, sleeker fastback but with a similar promise of an electrified lifestyle. Slathered in Vapor Grey and perched on 21-inch Aero alloys, the ES90 looks like a saloon until you spot the hands-free tailgate, at which point you’re not quite sure what it is. A sedan? A hatch? A very expensive shrug?
WHAT DO THEY KNOW?
Hop aboard and the answer starts to reveal itself. A tall portrait touchscreen does the heavy lifting and pale, grained trim sweeps across the dash. Volvo calls these Progressive Interior Materials, which sounds like a breakaway political party, but I’ll allow it because it looks lovely. There are 25 Bowers & Wilkins speakers with Dolby Atmos, two more than a Springbok match-day squad, and Google is built in, so you can ask it to open Spotify, or how much range you have left, without prodding anything. Occupant Sensing and something called a Driver Understanding System keep tabs on the humans, which is frankly more understanding than I get at home. Pilot Assist and Volvo’s Safe Space Technology handle the rest of the good-guy duties.
HOW DOES IT GO?
Politely. A single electric motor sends 245kW and 480Nm to the rear wheels through a single-speed ‘box, good for 0 to 100kph in 6.6 seconds. In a world of EVs that fling you at the horizon just because they can, that’s practically a stroll. But straight-line pace only tells half the story, and I suspect Volvo knows it. This isn’t a car that wants to scrap at the robot. It wants to waft, the loud pedal being something of a misnomer here.
Then there’s the range. Volvo quotes 755km, which on paper is more than halfway from Cape Town to Joburg. That figure comes with an asterisk, being a preliminary target, so real-world mileage will vary.
SO, R1.8 BAR?
R1 795 000, to be exact, with a five-year/100 000km warranty and full maintenance plan thrown in. At this level you’re shopping among the Germans, whose owners would very much like you to know what they drive. ES90 owners won’t bring it up. They’ll just look at you with that knowing, faintly serene expression.
And that, I’ve realised, is the whole trick. Stoic, elegant, smart, and not remotely interested in whether you’ve noticed. Cool. Whatever. I get it. Albeit reluctantly.
